god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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