i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
