I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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