is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
