i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
vagina is talking i cant
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I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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