Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
being pregnant is like rehab
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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