I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
