thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
