Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
