I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
