I didn't shave. On purpose
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
