He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We just shotgunned beers for America
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
There are leaves in my underwear?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
