she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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