Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
