fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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