Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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