Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
