At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
