What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
