your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
