i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
