"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
