I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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