he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
