Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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