Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
