do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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