he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
