I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
