I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
