Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
