Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
