i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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