yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
When did we convert life to cartoon?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
