id be glad to
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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