Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
