in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
