This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
