Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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