Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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