I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
