i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
