yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I look better un-naked...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
