I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
