Don't you send me to vm
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
