hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
