Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
