that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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