i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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