my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
