Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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