hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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