Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
People in love make me want to vomit
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
