The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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