my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
