I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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