idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
