Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
