first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
this boner is exhausting
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
