Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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