White coat. Heels.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
