He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
